A pleasant stopover on the way to Fiji.
Wednesday
9:30 am
The fact that my choices in Studio City were quite limited and Mrs. AAR had a 50% off Starbucks coupon made my coffee selection a no-brainer. The only problem was that the coupon was only applicable to a Starbucks located inside a Target. No matter, the Starbucks at the corner of Ventura and Vineland made for a good place to plan the balance of the day. Bottom line: I would head downtown and explore while the Missus got her hair styled.
10:30 am
I'm so old that the phrase "LA mass transit" is the punchline to a joke. Well, it's now been 34 years since tunneling began and LA has itself a pretty decent subway system. While it isn't as expansive as one might like, it only costs $1.75 (and for that, you can ride as far as you like, none of that distance traveled bullshit, like Washington, DC).
It's actually called the Los Angeles Metro Rail, as I guess everyone wants their mass transit system to sound a little more Parisian and a little less New York City (though Angelenos do call it "the subway").
The B Line rolling stock I boarded at Universal City/Studio City did remind me of New York City: dated and dirty. However when a Metro employee cheerfully asked if I needed any assistance and then gave me a map, I knew I wasn't boarding the 7 train at Times Square.
11:18 am
I am always down with riding a funicular, whether it's in Lisbon, Hong Kong, Pittsburgh, Hallstatt, Horseshoe Bend, Santiago, or Seoul. So the idea of riding one in LA that was built in 1901 was a no-brainer.
Angles Flight takes tourists and the occasional commuter to the top of Bunker Hill for $0.50. It didn't hurt that it played a central role in the TV show Bosch where a defense lawyer gets murdered while riding it.
At its base, G & B Coffee could be a good pit stop and allow for a brief inspection of the Grand Central Market.
12:03 pm
The Museum of Contemporary Art (MOCA) offers visitors the ability to view both types of contemporary art: an early Rothko and what appears to be a storage locker full of luggage with a monitor showing a pair of hands wrapping a package in bubble wrap.
1:15 pm
Besides the obvious one, a great reason to visit a museum with free admission is that you don't feel economically compelled to stay for any longer than required. If you were to pay say $30, no matter how pedestrian the art, you'd feel a need to linger to get your money's worth. Therefore at The Broad, I felt no compunction to dawdle and moved through the joint at a sprightly pace.
You still need to get a timed ticket online, which I got as I stood outside moments before entering the $130 million building. I would think this was required to limit the number of art admirers at any one time. The thing was, the place was so packed with people and filled with din, that it made admiring quite difficult.
I like how they devote entire rooms to certain artists, as a room full of Basquiats, Lichtensteins, Warhols and Ruschas can be quite interesting and maybe a little overwhelming (in a good way).
On the stairwell out of the place, there are a couple of windows overlooking the art storage facility, which clearly indicates that only a fraction of the collection is on display. It gives off a "eff you" vibe, telling a free-loading customer that "I have so much money a building couldn't be built large enough to display all of my art." I'm thinking that instead, an art installation that lights a dollar bill on fire every second could have been commissioned - it could have been a cheaper alternative.
2:27 pm
I thought about visiting the nearby Grammy Museum, but after seeing a room full of Rothkos for free, I couldn't bring myself to pay $15 to see Eminem's hoodie. So I headed over to . . .
The Los Angeles City Hall is probably most famous for gracing the front of Joe Friday's badge. And considering that LA is known as being a city on the move, it's nice that they've kept a city hall that was built in 1928, although as municipal government is a growth business, there are now two additional city hall buildings, both larger than the first one.
Great and free views of downtown LA from the 26th-floor observation deck, which includes a view of LAPD’s headquarters (Joe would like that).
3:09 pm
Through a series of misunderstandings that would make Jack Tripper proud, we arrived in K-Town at Han Bat Sul Lung Tang looking forward to eating some authentic Korean BBQ. Unfortunately, this well-reviewed, and very authentic looking (and sounding) restaurant only sells soup, which on a 92° day can be a tough sell.
Another diner recommended a rather inauthentic-sounding place called Quarters. I decided to trust her though because she looked Korean.
3:25 pm
After walking ten blocks, we arrived at Quarters and were welcomed by an oddly named (but quite friendly) server Robin, who mentioned he was born in Korea. When we asked him what the cuisine was, he replied "Fusion," which was confirmed by a lack of Korean patrons and high prices. A veritable feast of various grilled meats, vegetables, and tofu complemented by a veritable feast of pickled vegetables. I'm not sure how much it all cost as I specifically asked Mrs. AAR not to tell me.
Robin ghosted us mid-meal and was replaced by Amigi who I immediately knew was from Korea by her efficient but dour service.
5:16 pm
The Frolic Room is generally regarded as the best dive bar in LA. A fellow frolicker, Antoine mentioned that he used to be stationed in Fort Leavenworth, which made me a little wary, until he clarified that he was not a guest but an employee (an Army MP). He was also briefly stationed at Guantánamo Bay back in the oughts. He couldn't tell me much about his work there as it was classified.
We both agreed about the importance of keeping classified information secure, otherwise, the nation's security could be put at risk, well that and if you were not a former or current president of the United States, you might get oneself in real trouble.
You know you're in Hollywood when you're in a dive bar that plays TCM on the TV.
Antoine and the guy sitting next to him who looked like Chumley from Pawn Stars, agreed that the second coolest bar in Hollywood was . . .
6:00 pm
Boardner's which also happened to be the oldest bar in Hollywood (at least according to the sandwich board out front). This place had a lush decor, quite classy, but with very reasonable prices (and a $2 off happy hour). The signed photos on the wall of former customers really classed the place up. The manager invited us to stop by the adjoining club, which opens at 10:00 pm, but I declined "as we'll be in bed by then."
6:52 pm
Metroed back home to Studio City (it was getting late). Due to the Metro capping fares at $5 per day, I rode home for free.
Thursday
10:00 am
Coffee and an oatmeal cookie from Ralph's supermarket while overlooking the Los Angeles River from our hotel room.
2:00 pm
I was a little concerned that a tour of Warner Bros. Studios might be a little touristy but figured that by paying $95 for the TCM Classic Films Tour, I would screen out the riff-raff. Little did I realize that there were two even more expensive tours, with the Deluxe Tour topping out at a breathtaking $330 . . . so in the end I was the riff-raff.
As you may realize I enjoy walking in the footsteps of history and therefore was hoping that we'd visit the exact location where some of the most important movies ever made were made. Instead, we quickly drove by some of these locations and spent entirely too much time visiting the set of the Jennifer Hudson Show, of which I'm proud to say, I didn't know even existed.
Visiting the prop department enabled me to see some iconic props: a mirror from Mildred Pierce, the piano from Casablanca (the TV series), and the president's desk from The West Wing. Interesting, but the whole place, packed with hundreds of old lamps, vases, and chairs reminded me of a very large Pottery Barn.
Warner Bros is really pushing everything Friends, giving tourers the ability to take a photo in a reproduction Central Perk, and in front of the actual opening credits' fountain. It all was a little much and by the end, I couldn't stand to look at another 6 foot x 10 foot photo of those six ever-smiling faces. Later when Mrs. AAR mentioned to our guide that he must love his job, he replied ambivalently "It's all a little formulaic" (not sure if he meant the tour or his job).
However it did come with free snacks and a display containing Jack Warner's personal phone book.
Besides Jack's phone book, the most interesting part of the tour was when our guide pointed to a building just outside the lot and said "That's the Smoke House restaurant, George Clooney ate there so much while filming ER, that he named his company Smokehouse Pictures."
5:30 pm
Dined on a shrimp cocktail, wedge salad, porterhouse, and a Modello at . . . the Smoke House restaurant. Excellent, though the shrimp could have been a little snappier. This place is an LA classic with red Naugahyde¹ booths, and a very clubby bar with of course, autographed photos of patrons lining all the walls (and all at rather economical prices). There can be no better way to end a tour of the Warner Bros. lot (or possibly in lieu of).
7:30 pm
After dinner Marg at the lobby bar at our hotel.
Friday
8:45 am
Visited the second most photographed house in the United States.
9:30 am
Coffee and an almond croissant at Giorla’s Coffee in "downtown" Studio City.
11:30 am
Executive Time
4:21 pm
I tried to dine at numerous Tony Bourdain-recommended places in K-Town, but they were all permanently closed, so I figured the next best thing would be to visit with one of his idols, Johnny Ramone at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. Though it's a little incongruous, imagining his place of final repose is in such a peaceful and bucolic setting next to Douglas Fairbanks, Sr., Hattie McDaniel, and Fay Wray.
5:02 pm
In addition to the aforementioned Frolic Room and Boardner's, the eponymous detective from the Amazon series Bosch frequented a number of Hollywood's finer drinking establishments, which included the next few stops on my Hollywood walkabout . . .
The Formosa Cafe is basically a Chinese restaurant/slightly upscale dive bar, that appears to be run by a trio of willowy brunettes. I had a Stagecoach, which is another name for an Old Fashioned with just a little too much simple syrup. If you ever visit and want to walk in my footsteps, then sit under the autographed photo of . . . Bozo the Clown.
5:53 pm
Time for dinner, at what is the oldest, most famous, and possibly the best restaurant on Hollywood Boulevard, Musso & Frank Grill. The place is also featured prominently in the hit Netflix comedy-drama series The Kominsky Method, which alludes to the fact that some of the servers are quite old. This was the case with my server Ron, who in addition to my fine Negroni, might have made one for Gary Cooper. I used it and a Stella to wash down an excellent escargot. The staff all wear a red tuxedo jacket with black pants which in addition to it being built in 1919 gives the place a very old-school feel.
6:47 pm
The escargot was quite tasty but didn't get the job done, so a stop at Joe's Pizza on Hollywood Boulevard was required. The place may or may not have a connection to Joe's Pizza in Brooklyn, but either way delivered me a solid slice.
7:41 pm
The Three Clubs is a cool bar containing a "rich mahogany bar, plush tufted leather banquettes, casino-style carpeting, and two stages." Neither of which had live music and one of which had a neon painting workshop (💤). A friendly chat with the bartender earned me a gratis half a daiquiri.
9:20 am
I was hankering for some post half a daiquiri guacamole so I headed to El Compadre via the 2 bus. The only problem was that its location on Google Maps was incorrect causing me to wander for over an hour trying to find the joint. And once I did, it was just too packed.
It gave me time to ponder life and realize that after about seven drinks maybe Google Maps wasn't the issue. So I decided to head back to the barn.
10:20 pm
Before making a right on Hollywood Boulevard at the Star for the Dead End Kids, I stopped at Raffallo's Pizza for a god-awful slice and a Stella. You know your pizza might not be that good when it's delivered by a man with a Chinese accent. It wasn't the best way to end things, but part of being a winner is knowing when to call it quits.
Epilogue
The night before departing Tinseltown, a new subscriber took us out for dinner at Il Segreto Ristorante in Bel Air. Delicious (get the burrata and squash blossoms stuffed with ricotta).
Before flying to Fiji the next day, I stopped at the In-N-Out Burger just north of LAX for a delicious cheeseburger (animal style) and a (very) close-up view of planes on final approach. I'd never visited an In-N-Out before and I wasn't disappointed, as it's everything I'd been led to believe.
Lodgings
The Garland in Studio City was built by the actress Beverly Garland in 1970 in the California Spanish mission architectural style. For those of a certain age, she was Fred MacMurray's wife on My Three Sons and the star of Decoy, the first American police series with a female protagonist. Situated on seven sylvan acres, Mrs. AAR found it to be "clean and quiet, an oasis . . . I'm really digging this place.”
Endnotes: I wanted to provide some very specific details that while vaguely interesting did not contribute to the overall narrative. Perhaps just wait until the end to enjoy.
¹ Naugahyde is actually a proper noun as it is a brand of artificial leather. Its name comes from the name of Naugatuck, Connecticut, where it was first produced.
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