Copenhagen: The Miscellanea
- The After Action Report
- 2 days ago
- 5 min read
Some Danish guld that couldn't fit into my 59.55 Hours in Copenhagen Report.
The Name
It's pronounced "KO-pen-HAY-gen." Copenhagen is the English name for the capital city of Denmark. Just like how Rome is English and Roma is Italian, or Cologne is English and Köln is German, the Danish word for Copenhagen is “København.“ Not that it really matters as it is unpronounceable to English speakers. So just go with "KO-pen-HAY-gen" and you'll be fine. See below (The Language) for details.
The Currency
Denmark much like Norway and Sweden does not use the euro, instead it uses the Danish krone (as opposed to the Norwegian krone or the Swedish krona). It is pegged to the euro (with the rate 7.46038±2.25%) and at time of publishing $1 = 6.14 DKK. I constantly wondered if this was done on purpose to make it difficult to easily convert krone to dollars or euros, making that 153 DKK cocktail seem just a little more affordable.
During my seven day stay in Copenhagen I used only my Capital One Venture X credit card and did not exchange any currency.
The Electrical Adapter
Electrical adapters can be a tricky subject and you are going to need one. So instead of explaining all the details, just know that I used a Type C (which is the simplest and most flexible) via the Miami Carry On International Travel Adapter with Two USB Ports¹ and everything worked out just fine.
The Laughs
No Stress is a "cocktail pub" that offers standup in varying degrees of English fluency and comedic humor every Wednesday night at 2000. We caught the end of the free show that featured a Persian-Danish comic who just looked funny. Uneven at best, with the lighting being better than some of the acts.
The Politiet
Unlike the coppers in Ireland the ones in Copenhagen are strapped, which actually makes me feel better about being an American. The only reason I mention it is that the sirens used by the police cars in Copenhagen make that European police car sound (nee-naaah, nee-naaaah) that makes you feel like you're really in Europe and maybe in a scene from The Bourne Identity.
The Cheap Eats
If you stay in Copenhagen long enough eventually the sticker shock will become too shocking to ignore and what better way to combat it then where Tony Bourdain combated it in 2013.
John’s Hotdog Deli, isn't so much a deli, but a kiosk located in front of the Copenhagen Central (Train) Station.
While waiting on line, Mrs. AAR reading from a website mentioned out loud that she wanted to get the same kind of dog as Tony, “a Deluxe,” only to immediately hear a voice from behind the grill emphatically and exasperatingly state “there's no such thing as a Deluxe, people have been coming here for the last 10 years asking for it, it doesn’t exist!” Instead a ristet and a rød were ordered (both versions of the fully loaded dog, with a ketchup-like sauce for 50 DKK/$8 a piece). I then provided Sebastian my assurance to spread the word , so if you visit, please, "don’t order the fucking Deluxe!!!”
I then bought some beer at a nearby 7-Eleven and we sat down at a table inside the train station to enjoy our feast whilst watching the world go by. We then met a Danish family who had just returned from the Louisiana Museum of Modern Art so . . . we hopped on the train and visited . . .
The Louisiana Museum of Modern Art
After marrying a third woman named Louise, some guy named his estate after them (I've heard of men having a type, but this seems a little too specific). Another guy subsequently sold a lot of cheese, bought the estate, and then . . . voilà!
The naming of the museum says a lot about the Danish psyche as if it was founded by an American it would have been eponymous.
It has an extensive collection of Alberto Giacometti statues, but after the 15th statue, they all start to look the same. There was though an interesting exhibit where African immigrants while telling their story, trace on a map their route to a better life for them and their family. There are two types of people in this world, those that find their story interesting, heartbreaking and courageous and those that don't want to hear it.
Afterwards a slice at La Strada Humlebaek before getting on the train back into town.
The Pizza
There's a pizza chain called Otto that for a mere $16 (100 DKK) makes an eatable "No. 2:
Tomato, mozzarella, basil, parmesan," that can feed two kind of hungry Americans. I mentioned the state of their hungriness, not to try to indicate the size of the pie, but to indicate the size of their indifference to quality. It may not have been the best pizza I ever ate but it sure sounded better than "No. 10: Potato, mascarpone creme, mozzarella, rosemary, black pepper, parmesan."
The Beer
The Danish word for beer is "øl" but like the words chocolat, ok, and Ⅎ!@#, no translation is required. Denmark's own Carlsberg is the 4th largest brewer in the world and your safest bet when drinking a lager anywhere in Europe (I was never a fan of Heineken). They also make Tuborg and Falcon. A competitor, Royal Export is also a solid option.
The Language
I tried to learn a few words, but found it impossible. The beginning of every word starts out fine but then degenerates into a mishmash of sounds many of which don't have a corresponding letter in the subject word. I just don't think it's possible for the American mouth to wrap itself around the Danish language. And as everyone speaks English quite well it may have been for the best.
The Tip
No tipping (or taxes): My excitement about this really has (almost) nothing to do with thrift, I just like the simplicity of it all. The price you see on the menu is the exact price you pay.
The Water
The tap water in Copenhagen is quite potable, though it is important to know that you will be charged anywhere from $2.35 - $3.66 per person to drink it in a restaurant. On the bill it will be labeled as "Vand ad libitum" or "IsVand" to disguise it.
The Religion
There have now been ten kings named Christian in a country in which only 18% of the population believe Jesus Christ is the savior of the world. Though this could explain why Denmark's homicide rate is only 1/6 of the United States.
The Addendum
On the way to the train station on our way out of C-town, we stopped by John's Hotdog Deli one last time. There I watched Sebastian do a double take when Mrs. AAR surreptitiously joined the queue and yelled out, "Hey! Can I get a Deluxe!?"
Endnotes: I wanted to provide some very specific details that, while vaguely interesting, did not contribute to the overall narrative. Perhaps just wait until the end to enjoy.
¹ The Official Electrical Adapter of the AfterActionReport.info.
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