As enjoyable as Auckland was, in order to capture all the variety, beauty and lamb that New Zealand has to offer, we needed to head south.
The idea was to rent a car and explore the North and South Islands. Now there were two options to get this done:
Rent a car in Auckland, explore the North Island, then return it in Wellington, ferry across the Cook Strait, then rent a car in Picton, explore the South Island, and return it in Queenstown.
2. Rent a car in Auckland, explore the North Island, ferry it across the Cook Strait, then explore the South Island and return it in Queenstown.
Option one was a little cheaper, option two a little more convenient. I went with option two, as I didn’t like the hassle of renting multiple cars and schlepping multiple luggage.
Some may find driving in New Zealand on the wrong side of the road a little unnerving. Not me, as I found it as simple as driving in the lane indicated by the white arrow and letting your wife do all of it.
Day 0
Auckland
By using the New Zealand Expedia site to rent a car for our 17-day odyssey for $834 USD, I saved a few hundred bucks vs Expedia.com, booking.com, or Capital One travel.
Day 1 - 3
Rotorua
We started this road trip the same way we start them off back home, by dining at a Mexican joint and unbelievably Rotorua has two of them. We serendipitously selected El Mexicano Zapata Cantina, which was real score, a delicious fish taco, and the best marg the Missus has had in a very long time.
The man who made that marg was Eduardo Diaz, who was not only the owner of the restaurant but also a platinum album titled Kantuna. He sat with us for a while and talked about growing up in Chile, fleeing to New Zealand after the coup in 1973, and becoming a New Zealand Latin music pop star.
Te Puia "spans 70 hectares . . . on the edge of Rotorua," and my sole reason for visiting was to see the 100-foot Pōhutu Geyser, the largest in the southern hemisphere, and the most punctual, as it erupts every hour on the hour. For the price of $60 USD, visitors get to see it, a smaller geyser, and a fair amount of steam emanating from the surroundings.
Also included was a tour of a school for Māori sculptors. When I asked our guide "Where's the ladies?" I was informed that the Māori tradition only allows men to sculpt wood, although it appears that the Māori tradition does allow the use of power tools and hardened steel chisels. Note: Women are allowed to weave baskets.
When I was informed half of the price of admission goes to the sculpting school, I gave serious consideration to asking for it back if I could skip watching them altogether.
And after seeing the geyser I wanted to ask for the other half back.
To get my Māori on, I visited the Mitai Māori Cultural Experience & Dinner Buffet. I was a little wary about the cheese factor, and my concerns were not allayed by the reception hall which gave off a VFW hall all gussied up for a wedding, but once again I was wrong. After a brief intro by Hiua, our host/troubadour/stand-up comic, we watched warriors paddle a river canoe at night, complete with torches and chants. As impressive as it was, it could have been even more dramatic except for all the jackasses using their cellphones to light it up.
The venue for the dancing/chanting/singing/jumping around was quite nice, with numerous open fires lighting the stage and providing a mystically, smoky atmosphere. The performers were all excellent, though I could have done without the comedic schtick that always seems to come with these shows, but I guess they have to give the people what they want.
Though I was thankful that guests were not brought up on stage to try their hand at the dancing.
The funniest part of the show was when Hiua asked that no photos be taken during the first part of the show. He then said sternly “For those Chinese guests that means . . . no photos!!” While others might find this offensive, extensive travel these last seven years has made me realize that the funniest comedy comes from truth.
The dinner buffet of hāngī (a Māori method of cooking food using heated rocks buried in a pit oven) back in the reception hall was quite good and endless. One of the Chinese guests had the last laugh though, when she took all the shrimp from the buffet. Hiua then took questions at the end which was quite informative.
A damn good show, not as good as the one I saw in Taveuni Island, Fiji, but far better than Rapa Nui or Hawaii.
In 1901 someone had the idea to plant California redwoods in New Zealand and in 2015 someone else had the idea to build a series of 23 rope bridges between them. The Redwoods Treewalk is a commune with nature kind of thing with an Indiana Jones aspect to it. Due to scheduling issues, we visited after dark, though it might have been better to visit during the day to see the majesty of these 100-year-old beauties. Though if we did, then we might have wished we had come at night.
Lodgings: Aura Accommodations ($109 USD) was the nicest motel I stayed at since Savannah, GA, and the Thunderbird Inn. The place had a large outdoor thermal pool and a smaller indoor mineral pool. Floating in a full moonlit pool, heated to 38° C (100° F), with the Missus was a little bit of heaven (and very good for my bad elbow).
A side benefit of visiting a region that uses thermal energy to create hot water is incredibly hot and plentiful water for my shower.
If you take anything from this Report, it should be to stay at this place when you visit.
Day 3 - 4
Taupō
Stopped by Huka Falls on the way into town. I'd previously seen the largest waterfall system in the world, the largest waterfall in Europe, and the world's largest sheet of falling water, so I was eager to see the New Zealand waterfall with the largest flow rate.
Don't know if I'd drive 1,000 km to see it, but it was a nice stretch of the legs.
Downtown Taupo reminded me of downtown Rotorua, a grid layout up against a lake, consisting of one and two-story buildings. I wouldn't call either picturesque.
Lodgings: The Clearwater Motor Lodge was selected due to its reasonable rate ($101 USD), good reviews, and its outdoor thermal mineral pool. After my little bit of heaven at the Aura Accommodations the previous two nights, I couldn't pass up the opportunity. The pool was a little tired and small, you know what Thomas Wolfe said about thermal pools . . .
Day 4 - 6
Whanganui (wong·guh·noo·ee)
En route we stopped off at the Ohakune Tavern in the eponymous town for some seafood chowder that was surprisingly pretty damn good. When I noticed the cook wearing a dastār, I knew that some Indian spices must have been involved.
We met Darrin at the bar at the Rutland Arms Inn, and he recommended the house merlot and that we dine in at the adjoining restaurant. The issue was that the place was booked solid. I asked my bartender/receptionist, "If we could be put on standby . . . in case someone dies." And 25 minutes later we were enjoying "Succulent ribs braised in a rich beef stock, served with garden salad and fries, finished with house-made barbeque sauce," some "Slow cooked lamb shoulder pressed & rolled, served grilled on Paris mash, minted peas & a red wine butter sauce," and more house merlot. While I'm hopeful that it didn't require a fatality, the meal was so good I couldn't care less.
Darren's conversation was day saver, as otherwise, this day would have been a real dog. He was in town to mount a Māori war canoe to the underside of the pedestrian walkway that connects the new and old sections of the nearby Sarjeant Gallery. He showed us a photo of it all - impressive. I'd show you, but we were sworn to secrecy until the museum re-opens on Nov 9.
When asked about what to do in Whanganui, Darren mentioned we "should look at the buildings, they're quite old." While as fascinating as that sounded, I thought I'd also ask TripAdvisor who recommended . . .
The Durie Hill Elevator is New Zealand's only public underground elevator. Accessed via a 205-meter tunnel,¹ it then takes passengers up 66 meters to the top of the eponymous hill for a cost of $2 NZD. Opened in 1919, it still operates using all the original equipment, which gave me a moment's pause, until I realized that after exiting I could then freely take 176 steps to the top of the Durie Hill War Memorial Tower for some fine views of Wanganui.
It is quite simply the best appointed elevator I've ever levitated in.
Next up was the Whanganui Regional Museum. I've freely visited more than a few "regional" museums, which tend to offer a smorgasbord of exhibits. This one was better than most, offering an outstanding collection of Māori portraits from the late 19th century, whale skeletons, an iron lung, and an intricate model that explained how the Māori cut down trees in order to make war canoes.
There is greyhound racing on Friday nights. If I had known I would have gone, as in a few years I think it will be impossible to see greyhounds race anywhere.
Lodgings: I landed on two possible lodging options. I submitted both to Mrs. AAR who upon reviewing the Rutland Arms Inn ($120 USD) stated "A rating of 9.2, Wonderful, 9.4 on the cleanliness, centrally located, and includes a bar . . . I'm in!" Since we arrived late, I had to check in at the bar, which made it that much better.
Day 6 - 7
Palmerston North
The Fat Farmer for the house red, duck pancakes, and the beef short rib. Excellent.
The next morning, Sublime for a coffee and NYC cookie, which outside of "Palmy" is called a chocolate chip cookie.
Then we hit the Te Manawa Museum of Art, Science & Heritage. Another day another regional museum. A common site during a New Zealand road trip is the common brushtail possum,² as you see them every few miles . . . as road kill. So it was nice to see one stuffed and mounted and not flat and bloody. They were introduced in the 1850s as a source of food and fur. And now guess what? They're a pest, with 30 million of the little critters causing ecological destruction throughout the country.
Lodgings: BKs Premier Motel Palmerston North ($96 USD). Believe it or not, I've stayed in some pretty nice hotels in my life, though this place offered the only seamless check-in I've ever experienced: told the front desk who I was and they handed me a keycard. Viola!
Day 7
Wellington
The plan was to spend 39.85 hours here, then ferry across one of the most dangerous and unpredictable waters in the world, to proceed to a New Zealand Road Trip: The South Island.
Endnotes: I wanted to provide some very specific details that while vaguely interesting did not contribute to the overall narrative. Perhaps just wait until the end to read.
¹ Of course, since the access tunnel to the Durie Hill Elevator has only one opening, it is technically an adit.
² The common bushtailed possum and the opossum found in the United States are both from the same infraclass: Marsupialia, but are of a different order.
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